Viva LasVegas
After my last trip to Inner Mongolia, I wondered where else I could go to match it in terms of its other-worldliness, the unusual people, and the strange surroundings. And then it hit me…
Viva Las Vegas!
Wednesday September 11th
Gambling: Lost USD50
My friend Ed & I are due to fly out of Hong Kong direct to Las Vegas at 11pm, but we have a problem. Ever since I arrived in Hong Kong, I have been told about the infamous Typhoon grade eight, T8 for short. When a T8 is called, everything shuts down, everyone goes home from work, and nobody travels anywhere. Well except to the pubs maybe, as they stay open and give out free shots.
But seven months since I arrived, and there has been barely a breath of wind, until today. The weather map is showing a typhoon passing south towards China, and when I get into work the T3 (one grade under T8) is already up. Sure it’s looking a bit blowy outside, but nothing too serious, and I get on with the day.
So I am shocked a bit later, when I get back from lunch to find the office deserted – T8 has been hoisted and everyone’s gone home. How come when the typhoon seems to be going past? Are any planes flying? And does anyone want to go to the pub? No-one seems to be able to answer any of these.
Eventually Ed & I meet for a drink, deciding that if we can’t go on the trip, at least we can have a good evening. The weather has calmed a little by now after some admittedly energetic wind & rain in the afternoon, and we go off to the airport early just in case. It is also at the back of our minds that it is September 11th and we are flying to the US, so maybe security will be tight.
At the airport, we breeze through security in five minutes, and find ourselves with hours to kill. Is the flight full? We’re flying to the US on Sept 11th in a typhoon, so, funnily enough, no. We reserve 3 seats each and get stuck into the lounge bar, until it’s time to go, and we take off dead on time. I go to watch a movie, forgetting that I have now been drinking for several hours, and I am asleep before the titles start. 11 hours later I come round and we’re nearly there. That’s the way to fly.
We left HK at 11pm on Wednesday night, and we arrive in Vegas at 9pm on … Wednesday night. We’re not really sure how this works, but hey its Vegas, the lights are on - we actually have to pay an energy shortage tax, yet the place is lit up like a million Christmas trees - the tables are beckoning, so on we go.
I have to say at this point that I am on a quest to try to play some blackjack during the week. As a statistics student at university (there, I’ve admitted it) I know full well that all the games such as roulette & craps have the odds in favour of the casino; but blackjack, with some adept strategy play, can give opportunities to win money on a regular basis. Apparently. I reckon I can do this, and my first hour on the table leaves me even from where I started – not bad, although a little disappointing after being USD60 up at one point.
Ed & I meet up with three Irish friends of his who are travelling in the US, and are staying in our hotel, and we go off to do a tour of some of the hotels to get a feel of what is going on. Much later I try to play blackjack again, and I learn the first equation you should know before going to Vegas:
Gambling + sobriety = chance of some money back
Gambling + alcohol = heavy losses.
This time around I lose USD50 quicker than you can say “Yes I’ll have another Heineken please”.
September 12th
Gambling: Down USD30
In the day time we have a wander round some of the big hotels, just to gasp at their size and ambition. Caesar’s Palace has a shopping centre in it broadly the size of Lakeside; New York New York has its own roller coaster, which goes round the towers and finishes in the casino; and the Venetian has its own canals and Sistine Chapel roof.
We walked in the Venetian, and saw one of the shops is closed off with a big crowd of people outside. I ask what’s going on & am told that “It’s Michael Jackson in there.” I am suspicious of this being a Vegas look-a-like publicity stunt – but when I peer in, I can see someone whiter than white skin, crooked nose, dodgy hair – yes it really is him – see photo number 1. To be fair, he waves to the crowd, signs some autographs, and generally behaves more normal than maybe we expected him to.
Later Ed & I have booked tickets for a show called the “Blue Man Group”. Ed has tried to see it before, despite everyone he spoke to about it not being able to describe it to him. Well now I’ve seen it to and I’m not sure I can explain it either, it sort of features 3 bald blue blokes, lots of drumming, a band who glow in the dark, some humour, and covering the entire audience in toilet paper at the end. Anyway, it was better than it sounds, and if you don’t believe me, see photo 2 – now I’m not sure, but I would reckon that I’m the one on the left, Ed’s on the right, and the guy in the middle is the Blue Man.
We then go for a drink in the Luxor hotel, which is shaped like a pyramid & shines a light from its roof that reaches into space, as I have some friends from the UK staying there at the same time. Ed has also arranged to meet some more friends of his there, this time ex-Hong Kongers now in the US, as well as the Irish girls, and by this point our group is taking up one end of the bar.
We split and arrange to meet again, which is never a good plan in such a large place, as inevitably I get lost on my own. I go into the Coyote Ugly bar and look around, but no sign of anyone I was looking for. I walk to the bar for a consolatory drink to see a couple also queuing.
“Where are you from,” asks the guy, American, to the girl. She pauses before answering, and is then surprised when I jump in the middle.
“You’re from East London, aren’t you??” It turned out to be a friend of mine who lived round the corner from me in London, neither of us knowing the other was travelling to Vegas that particular day. It is, as they say, a small world.
September 13th:
Gambling: Up USD30
In true Vegas style, we all decide it is time for another show, and there’s only one person I’m here to see – the King. Yes Elvis is in the building as we go to the “American Legends” tribute show. The Elvis guy is great; I’m not sure if he looks that close to The Man (see photo 3), but he has the voice and the moves down brilliantly. He apparently won the World Elvis tribute competition at Graceland a few years ago, so this is close as I’m ever going to get. Also in the show were Ricky Martin (the guy was a dead ringer, but couldn’t dance…actually maybe it was the real one after all), Madonna (passable), Craig Daniels (apparently a US country singer, I’d never heard of him), Cristina Aguillera (pretty good), and Michael Jackson (an imitator this time, but brilliant again). The only drawback is some inevitable US-flag waving at a couple of points, finishing the show with ‘Living in America’. I point out that Ricky Martin’s from Puerto Rico, but no-one seems too concerned.
Before I left Hong Kong, I took a lot of requests from people to put money on for them on the roulette table. So I place the bets down – 4,8,17,22, and a few others I guessed myself. Sure enough number 4 was lucky – good call from my friend Kiri, although I wasn’t quite sure how to break it to here when I got back that I only put USD1 on instead of the USD4 I promised…oh dear…Blackjack also goes my way a bit (by now I’ve bought a strategy book and am making sure to split a pair of 8s against a 6 for the bank, doubling down on 11, oh yes…), a good day all in all in the casinos.
We have been discussing all week about going to the Grand Canyon; at 3am we decide that tomorrow is the best day. Which is cool, except the bus leaves at 7am and we’re having another drink.
September 14th
Gambling: Down USD100
We meet at the designated place at 7am all looking like death; by 7.30 there is no bus and we realise that we’re not going. I try to console myself by winning some money, but drop USD30 again on blackjack before going back to bed somewhat upset. This is compounded by another loss of USD50 in the afternoon, and a third time lucky effort also went wrong giving me losses of USD100 for the day. Stupid game anyway.
Again in the evening we plan a meeting for all the different sets of people in one place, and this time we’ve hit the jackpot by going to a bar with two piano players in it. The atmosphere is amazing, and they lead the crowd in singing and dancing all night. One of the best moments was when the woman playing announced she was going to play a women’s anthem, and started with ‘I will survive’. She got 2 lines into this when the other guy cut her off with the following:
‘My friend’s got a girlfriend
He really hates that bitch
He wishes that she’d get a job’
This starts a bidding war for which song should be played, and despite one lady offering her credit card in order to beat the men, the guys win and the girlfriend song gets played and sung at full volume.
While all of this is going on, we’ve decided that we’re going to the Grand Canyon tomorrow after all. We’ve definitely booked it this time and the bus definitely leaves at 6.15. Except when the bar shuts at 3 we go to another one, then for food…I get back to the hotel room at 5.30 and watch the nightly 5am episode of Superman for the third time in four days, and don’t bother going to sleep at all.
September 15th
Gambling: Up USD60
We all get on the bus quite chirpy (we’re all still drunk, the girls even gatecrashed a party on the way back to their room) but a few hours up the line our area at the back of the bus is strangely silent. It isn’t long before we all get woken up to the words ‘time to get off, lunch’. Let’s just say I don’t think we got our money’s worth.
A bit further down the line, we arrive at the Grand Canyon and are nearly all feeling well enough to walk round and take it in. Suffice to say it is impressive enough to warrant driving five hours in either direction with a hangover to see.
We make it back to Vegas in the evening, by which time the back of the bus is junk food central, with crisp bags and coke cans to the fore. However at least by now we are feeling a bit more human, and can get out for one last assault. Thankfully tonight the cards are with me, and from 3 goes I finish USD60 up, which makes the earlier losses sit a bit easier. Of course I reckon that I’ve sussed it now, so next year they better watch out… Yet again we stay up through the night, this time for a 7am flight all the way back to HK, and yet again on this I am pretty quiet for long periods. Jet lag shouldn’t be too much of a problem, we never moved off HK time all the time we were there…
Altogether now:
My friend has a girlfriend
He really hates…
Ian